I am tired of pretenders. Those who pretend to be friends and asking how I am when they don't really care or do anything even if you're dying. They just want to ask how you are to feel good with themselves and delude their minds into thinking that they are good friends.
It would be much better not to say anything at all. Ignore the suffering person. Just don't make a mistake in saying that you are a friend. Because if you do, you better call yourself "hypocrite".
Yes, I am angry and sad. I can never stop measuring others with my own standards. I can never stop getting disappointed and hurt.
I know what I did for friends and what I can still do for a friend. I can be there for a friend with complete and utter disregard for my own personal safety. Maybe when I get rich enough, I will clone myself.
Showing posts with label I See Red. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I See Red. Show all posts
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Shit Happened
I'm going to die soon. Of starvation. I never thought someone can die of that in the Metro.
But I will. It may be better to just put a bullet in my head. Heck, I couldn't even afford a bullet.
Why is it that nobody can be there for me when I try to be there for everybody? Even if I only have 200 left, I still lend the 100 to a friend who needs it. It's ironic.
But I will. It may be better to just put a bullet in my head. Heck, I couldn't even afford a bullet.
Why is it that nobody can be there for me when I try to be there for everybody? Even if I only have 200 left, I still lend the 100 to a friend who needs it. It's ironic.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
The SUN Experience
Let me tell you how I got upset over nothing. And yes, I only write when I'm upset.
I had planned to get a postpaid phone line since last year to make my life easier. Of course, this is because I am too lazy to get phone cards. When I run out of phone credit, it usually takes 2 to 3 days for me to diligently remember to buy a card. And when I buy, I buy 2 to 4 cards to make my trip to the convenience store (at the ground floor of the building where I work) worth it. And when I still have cards to use but the phone runs out of credit, I find it too much of an effort to scratch the card and key in the numbers.
Yes, I am lazy. This is the reason that I have come to my senses to get a postpaid line. This way, I don't have to worry about getting phone credits every once in a while and I can pay when I go the mall. Pretty convenient... or so I thought.
So I visited the Sun Cellular Shop in SM Marikina. The girl I asked told me that I need a proof of income which can be a month's worth of payslip, and a bill. So that week, I got he requirements ready and the guy who serviced me said that I lack my Certificate of Employment or an ITR. I guess customer service girl just forgot about it. The next week, I had my COE ready and visited the branch again to submit my requirements. The person who assisted me had me fill out the application form and another form which asked for 3 contact persons. He specifically said that the contact numbers should either be landline numbers or Sun numbers. I told him I only have 2 people I can think of and he said that 2 people are enough. He gave me the expectation that it will be processed within 2 to 3 days.
That was a Sunday. The next day, I received a text message from the branch saying that they are processing it. So I expected that I should be getting word from them on Wednesday that week. While I waited, I was too excited to get their service knowing that it would have all that I need including unlimited Internet Service. I urged my colleagues to get the same service since we use Yahoo messenger in the office. It would be fun and convenient for us. I got three people interested and they wanted to see the phone and the service when I get it.
Wednesday came and I never heard from them. I kept calling the number they used to text me and no one answers. That night I received a text message asking for "sufficient proof of income and secondary contact person". I replied saying that I gave all of those things to them. Nobody replied so I went to their branch that Thursday to clear it up and get answers. The Sun guy said that they had a mistake on the POI and that it was sufficient enough. What they just need was another contact person with a "Sun postpaid line" or a "Sun landline" and that their head office must have a hard time contacting one person I've provided. I told him that I don't know such person. The people I know just have Globe or Smart subscriptions. So he asked me to give other contact numbers for the contact persons I provided. He also promised that I will hear from them within 24 hours on the result.
Somebody called me while having lunch last Saturday who asked me if I can provide another name with a Sun Postpaid Line or landline under his or her name. Of course, I do not know such person. Being in the BPO industry, most people I work with do not have landline and some of them just have Globe or Smart phone lines. This "Yuri" or "Yani" guy said that it's the only way he can help me. I was pissed. They didn't even bother to tell me this important bit of information when I filled out forms. It has been six days and they didn't make a progress on anything. I can't magically produce a friend with a Sun Postpaid line.
Then another person from their "head office" called and said that they will just deal with what they have and that she will have me contacted by the branch to either update me on the progress or let me know if the phone was ready to be picked up. She promised me that this should happen before 4pm on that same day. But I gave them until 7pm so that they would have enough time. I told her that if there's no change, I will pull out my application and retrieve my documents. I even suggested that they deal with the quality of customer service. (How nice of me!) I could not understand how they can offer such service to college student just by asking for their IDs and they ask for an impossiblity from me. Maybe they think that half of the population in the Philippines have Sun Postpaid.
A guy from Sun Shop SM Marikina indeed called before 4pm. Guess what, there was still no progress. He told me the same thing, "They are still processing my application." I told him that it's okay since he still has until 7pm to tell me something I don't know. Nobody contacted me after that.
So today, I marched to the Sun Shop of SM Marikina. The Sun asked me what "Yuri/Yani" told me over the phone the other day. Can he not contact the "Yuri/Yani" guy? How the hell can I answer that question? Do they not have means of communication in that company? He then escalated my concern to a woman who seemed to have a higher position. The woman asked me again if I know a person with Sun Postpaid line. I am certainly fed up with that question. I asked if she can just call their head office and ask her questions to them. She came back to me and told me the same thing. "They are processing it."
I am through getting frustrated and pissed off. I asked for my documents to pull out my application and got out of that place.
If they cannot approve my application because I do not know a person who's a Sun subscriber, then they should have done so in 3 days. I would have been more appreciative. I did not need the frustration and certainly, I do not want to train them on customer service.
This is the worst that I have experienced and nobody deserves such hassle. I do hope that they clean up their act before every Sun subscriber realizes what they're paying for.
As for me, I am getting a Globe or Smart sim to replace my prepaid Sun sim. Or maybe, I'll get a postpaid line but certainly not from Sun. I can't believe I yearned to get their service and even planned to replace my Bayan Broadband with Sun Broadband.
I had planned to get a postpaid phone line since last year to make my life easier. Of course, this is because I am too lazy to get phone cards. When I run out of phone credit, it usually takes 2 to 3 days for me to diligently remember to buy a card. And when I buy, I buy 2 to 4 cards to make my trip to the convenience store (at the ground floor of the building where I work) worth it. And when I still have cards to use but the phone runs out of credit, I find it too much of an effort to scratch the card and key in the numbers.
Yes, I am lazy. This is the reason that I have come to my senses to get a postpaid line. This way, I don't have to worry about getting phone credits every once in a while and I can pay when I go the mall. Pretty convenient... or so I thought.
So I visited the Sun Cellular Shop in SM Marikina. The girl I asked told me that I need a proof of income which can be a month's worth of payslip, and a bill. So that week, I got he requirements ready and the guy who serviced me said that I lack my Certificate of Employment or an ITR. I guess customer service girl just forgot about it. The next week, I had my COE ready and visited the branch again to submit my requirements. The person who assisted me had me fill out the application form and another form which asked for 3 contact persons. He specifically said that the contact numbers should either be landline numbers or Sun numbers. I told him I only have 2 people I can think of and he said that 2 people are enough. He gave me the expectation that it will be processed within 2 to 3 days.
That was a Sunday. The next day, I received a text message from the branch saying that they are processing it. So I expected that I should be getting word from them on Wednesday that week. While I waited, I was too excited to get their service knowing that it would have all that I need including unlimited Internet Service. I urged my colleagues to get the same service since we use Yahoo messenger in the office. It would be fun and convenient for us. I got three people interested and they wanted to see the phone and the service when I get it.
Wednesday came and I never heard from them. I kept calling the number they used to text me and no one answers. That night I received a text message asking for "sufficient proof of income and secondary contact person". I replied saying that I gave all of those things to them. Nobody replied so I went to their branch that Thursday to clear it up and get answers. The Sun guy said that they had a mistake on the POI and that it was sufficient enough. What they just need was another contact person with a "Sun postpaid line" or a "Sun landline" and that their head office must have a hard time contacting one person I've provided. I told him that I don't know such person. The people I know just have Globe or Smart subscriptions. So he asked me to give other contact numbers for the contact persons I provided. He also promised that I will hear from them within 24 hours on the result.
Somebody called me while having lunch last Saturday who asked me if I can provide another name with a Sun Postpaid Line or landline under his or her name. Of course, I do not know such person. Being in the BPO industry, most people I work with do not have landline and some of them just have Globe or Smart phone lines. This "Yuri" or "Yani" guy said that it's the only way he can help me. I was pissed. They didn't even bother to tell me this important bit of information when I filled out forms. It has been six days and they didn't make a progress on anything. I can't magically produce a friend with a Sun Postpaid line.
Then another person from their "head office" called and said that they will just deal with what they have and that she will have me contacted by the branch to either update me on the progress or let me know if the phone was ready to be picked up. She promised me that this should happen before 4pm on that same day. But I gave them until 7pm so that they would have enough time. I told her that if there's no change, I will pull out my application and retrieve my documents. I even suggested that they deal with the quality of customer service. (How nice of me!) I could not understand how they can offer such service to college student just by asking for their IDs and they ask for an impossiblity from me. Maybe they think that half of the population in the Philippines have Sun Postpaid.
A guy from Sun Shop SM Marikina indeed called before 4pm. Guess what, there was still no progress. He told me the same thing, "They are still processing my application." I told him that it's okay since he still has until 7pm to tell me something I don't know. Nobody contacted me after that.
So today, I marched to the Sun Shop of SM Marikina. The Sun asked me what "Yuri/Yani" told me over the phone the other day. Can he not contact the "Yuri/Yani" guy? How the hell can I answer that question? Do they not have means of communication in that company? He then escalated my concern to a woman who seemed to have a higher position. The woman asked me again if I know a person with Sun Postpaid line. I am certainly fed up with that question. I asked if she can just call their head office and ask her questions to them. She came back to me and told me the same thing. "They are processing it."
I am through getting frustrated and pissed off. I asked for my documents to pull out my application and got out of that place.
If they cannot approve my application because I do not know a person who's a Sun subscriber, then they should have done so in 3 days. I would have been more appreciative. I did not need the frustration and certainly, I do not want to train them on customer service.
This is the worst that I have experienced and nobody deserves such hassle. I do hope that they clean up their act before every Sun subscriber realizes what they're paying for.
As for me, I am getting a Globe or Smart sim to replace my prepaid Sun sim. Or maybe, I'll get a postpaid line but certainly not from Sun. I can't believe I yearned to get their service and even planned to replace my Bayan Broadband with Sun Broadband.
Monday, March 31, 2008
GUY MAGNET II
There goes my weekend. *sigh* Can I just say that it's too short? I know everyone will agree. Well, it has been productive. I was able to go to an acquaintance's birthday celebration (no booze for me), send a boxful of toys and magazines, watch a good movie and go to a doctor for a check up.
I won't be really writing about my weekend. It's about being the "guy magnet" again over the weekend. So it started, rather continued, when I went to Marikina for a birthday celebration. I didn't really know where they live so i just rode a cab and asked the driver to take me to Marikina Riverbank. I guess I was really unlucky because I ran out of load. I just decided to call the gf of the celebrant through a pay phone in a 7 11 store to let them pick me up. While I was waiting for them, a guy started to ask for the time and he added, "Pauwi ka na?".
I just answered a short no and gave him an intimidating look.
"Saan ka papunta?" he asked again.
"To a friend's house." I answered with an irritated tone.
"Samahan kita? Ako pala si ... (I forgot the name hehehe.)" Wow! He's makulit. I know the that he wouldn't stop so I decided to wait inside the store.
When I thought that he was gone, I went out to wait. Then another guy talked to me.
"Saan ka, miss?" the taxi driver asked.
"May susundo po sa akin." I just gave him a direct answer because I don't want to deal with another makulit.
"Eh nagtatanong lang. Baka kako pwede ka naming ihatid." he answered. Whaaat?! He will be with another person when he would bring me to my destination? Scary! Good thing, the couple arrived.
There were some unlucky instances before we reached the celebrant's house (like car not starting). So when we arrived, most of the people were already drunk. There was this big guy who probably had a quarrel with his gf. Let's call him Shrek. He offered to take me home. I agreed because I thought he was trustworthy. When we were on our way, we decided to drop by the riverbank. I wanted to make a stop over because I was afraid that we might meet an accident with the way he was driving. We walked for a while and talked. But he tried to make his move on kissing me. Luckily, I was able to duck. What a jerk! We were talking about his gf and how a family must stay together and he tried to do that? And he didn't stop there. He still tried for the second time. I couldn't just slap him because I know it will embarrass him. I want him to realize his mistakes, not slap him his mistakes. Then again, I guess I should have slapped him because he was already asking me to go to a motel with him. WTF! I thought Shrek was a good guy but I was proven wrong. He is an OGRE inside out. When he was being makulit on going to a motel, I bitched out and told him I'll take a cab. So he brought me home. But I guess he couldn't realize that I was already irritated since he still asked me if he could stay in my place for the night. I gave him one of my fake smiles and said, "Bye!". Then I crossed the street.
I guess I don't want to hang out with the group anymore. There goes my social life. The "guy magnet" doesn't have a social life anymore. It should have been fine if I just attract the good ones, but the unfortunate Amor only attracts the rotten ones.
I won't be really writing about my weekend. It's about being the "guy magnet" again over the weekend. So it started, rather continued, when I went to Marikina for a birthday celebration. I didn't really know where they live so i just rode a cab and asked the driver to take me to Marikina Riverbank. I guess I was really unlucky because I ran out of load. I just decided to call the gf of the celebrant through a pay phone in a 7 11 store to let them pick me up. While I was waiting for them, a guy started to ask for the time and he added, "Pauwi ka na?".
I just answered a short no and gave him an intimidating look.
"Saan ka papunta?" he asked again.
"To a friend's house." I answered with an irritated tone.
"Samahan kita? Ako pala si ... (I forgot the name hehehe.)" Wow! He's makulit. I know the that he wouldn't stop so I decided to wait inside the store.
When I thought that he was gone, I went out to wait. Then another guy talked to me.
"Saan ka, miss?" the taxi driver asked.
"May susundo po sa akin." I just gave him a direct answer because I don't want to deal with another makulit.
"Eh nagtatanong lang. Baka kako pwede ka naming ihatid." he answered. Whaaat?! He will be with another person when he would bring me to my destination? Scary! Good thing, the couple arrived.
There were some unlucky instances before we reached the celebrant's house (like car not starting). So when we arrived, most of the people were already drunk. There was this big guy who probably had a quarrel with his gf. Let's call him Shrek. He offered to take me home. I agreed because I thought he was trustworthy. When we were on our way, we decided to drop by the riverbank. I wanted to make a stop over because I was afraid that we might meet an accident with the way he was driving. We walked for a while and talked. But he tried to make his move on kissing me. Luckily, I was able to duck. What a jerk! We were talking about his gf and how a family must stay together and he tried to do that? And he didn't stop there. He still tried for the second time. I couldn't just slap him because I know it will embarrass him. I want him to realize his mistakes, not slap him his mistakes. Then again, I guess I should have slapped him because he was already asking me to go to a motel with him. WTF! I thought Shrek was a good guy but I was proven wrong. He is an OGRE inside out. When he was being makulit on going to a motel, I bitched out and told him I'll take a cab. So he brought me home. But I guess he couldn't realize that I was already irritated since he still asked me if he could stay in my place for the night. I gave him one of my fake smiles and said, "Bye!". Then I crossed the street.
I guess I don't want to hang out with the group anymore. There goes my social life. The "guy magnet" doesn't have a social life anymore. It should have been fine if I just attract the good ones, but the unfortunate Amor only attracts the rotten ones.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
bad start
here's a letter of complaint i sent to our manager:
September 18, 2006
Ms./Mr.________
____________________
______________________
_________, Cebu City
Dear _____,
I would like to formally raise a complaint against two guards in the building. I felt harrassed with the event this morning of September 18, 2006.
This situation started last Saturday, September 16, 2006 about 10:30 in the evening. A friend and I drove to the parking lot of the building to ask permission from the guards to park in the lot of the building. I asked one guard in blue barong who was sitting near the elevator. He said in a very arrogant way that we can't park there. Then he waved his hand as if to shoo us away. I thought that he was trying to tell me that we can park at the lower lot. So I tried untangling the rope that bars the lot. Then he got angry and stood up. He told me that we can't park there. I asked the other guard in security guard uniform sweetly if we could park there. He still said no and explained that the parking lot was for the cafe's customers. Then I said that I will tell the _____ Management about it. However, it was not my intention to do that since it was a petty thing.
This morning, about 7:30, I dropped by the ATM before going the elevator. The same guards greeted me but I didn't feel like responding. The guard in the security guard uniform approached me first and he said that they wanted to talk to me about what happened last Saturday. The guard in barong, then, stepped forward. They didn't ASK to talk to me but demanded to talk to me. ("Mag-istorya sa gud 'ta kadyot." I still passed even if they blocked my way, and went in the elevator. When I was inside, the guard in barong stayed at the door of the elevator to prevent it from closing. The two guards keep telling me that they want to talk to me outside but I said no. They reiterated the rules of the building about the parking. They were also saying I was very arrogant and I act like the owner of the building. (Hilas kaayo ka ha. Mura ka'g tag-iya sa building.) The guard in barong tried to grab my arm to get me out of the elevator but I was able to put myself in the corner of that cube. I was already saying that I did not want to talk and that what they were doing is already harrassment. He tried to grab my arm again. But there were already many people passing and we were attracting to much attention so he stepped out of the way.
I understand the rules of the building and it's not a big deal for me not to be able to park here. I am concerned about how these "guards" act. They were supposed to make the building and the people of the building feel safe. But I felt offended and harrassed. I feel unsafe now in getting in and out of the building.
I am requesting for a speedy action about this. Thank you.
Sincerely,
_____________
September 18, 2006
Ms./Mr.________
____________________
______________________
_________, Cebu City
Dear _____,
I would like to formally raise a complaint against two guards in the building. I felt harrassed with the event this morning of September 18, 2006.
This situation started last Saturday, September 16, 2006 about 10:30 in the evening. A friend and I drove to the parking lot of the building to ask permission from the guards to park in the lot of the building. I asked one guard in blue barong who was sitting near the elevator. He said in a very arrogant way that we can't park there. Then he waved his hand as if to shoo us away. I thought that he was trying to tell me that we can park at the lower lot. So I tried untangling the rope that bars the lot. Then he got angry and stood up. He told me that we can't park there. I asked the other guard in security guard uniform sweetly if we could park there. He still said no and explained that the parking lot was for the cafe's customers. Then I said that I will tell the _____ Management about it. However, it was not my intention to do that since it was a petty thing.
This morning, about 7:30, I dropped by the ATM before going the elevator. The same guards greeted me but I didn't feel like responding. The guard in the security guard uniform approached me first and he said that they wanted to talk to me about what happened last Saturday. The guard in barong, then, stepped forward. They didn't ASK to talk to me but demanded to talk to me. ("Mag-istorya sa gud 'ta kadyot." I still passed even if they blocked my way, and went in the elevator. When I was inside, the guard in barong stayed at the door of the elevator to prevent it from closing. The two guards keep telling me that they want to talk to me outside but I said no. They reiterated the rules of the building about the parking. They were also saying I was very arrogant and I act like the owner of the building. (Hilas kaayo ka ha. Mura ka'g tag-iya sa building.) The guard in barong tried to grab my arm to get me out of the elevator but I was able to put myself in the corner of that cube. I was already saying that I did not want to talk and that what they were doing is already harrassment. He tried to grab my arm again. But there were already many people passing and we were attracting to much attention so he stepped out of the way.
I understand the rules of the building and it's not a big deal for me not to be able to park here. I am concerned about how these "guards" act. They were supposed to make the building and the people of the building feel safe. But I felt offended and harrassed. I feel unsafe now in getting in and out of the building.
I am requesting for a speedy action about this. Thank you.
Sincerely,
_____________
Monday, August 28, 2006
hopes and disappointments
how many times does a person have to be disappointed in order to learn not to hope or expect? well, the end point is not really for a person learn not to hope or expect, but rather to avoid getting hurt or disappointed.
why do people have to promise when they know that there is a possibility that it won't be made true? if a person makes a promise, it should be fulfilled in every possible and impossible way. they should know that disappointments can hurt.
why do people have to promise when they know that there is a possibility that it won't be made true? if a person makes a promise, it should be fulfilled in every possible and impossible way. they should know that disappointments can hurt.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
women and pigs
why do i have to get affected when i realize that there are only pigs and women? (maybe except my father and some of my guy friends)
i am sad again. too upset to even write...
last night, i was with a friend in an internet cafe to chat. now, here's a guy who wanted to meet up for a cup of coffee. i told my friend about it. and guess what? he was thinking that i will do seb. what i did? i let him read our chat transcript especially the part where i made sure that it was only for a cup of coffee and nothing else.
it is fucking depressing once people judge you. and i got a second dose of it when i met the guy from chat. while he was driving, he kept bragging about how much he earns and how much he can spend in a day because of his "call center" work. he said that their call center is different since they can earn almost 20k a day. wow! and imagine his guts when he held my hand and kept massaging it. "Are you trying to seduce me? Don't try, because you can't." i said. There was no coffee and he didn't even bring me home as he promised. he dropped me off somewhere. jeez... what a jerk!
and now someone told me that it's unfair for me to generalize... have guys been fair? i don't think so. if i only have a gun, for sure, i would have shot every jerk i met.
i am sad again. too upset to even write...
last night, i was with a friend in an internet cafe to chat. now, here's a guy who wanted to meet up for a cup of coffee. i told my friend about it. and guess what? he was thinking that i will do seb. what i did? i let him read our chat transcript especially the part where i made sure that it was only for a cup of coffee and nothing else.
it is fucking depressing once people judge you. and i got a second dose of it when i met the guy from chat. while he was driving, he kept bragging about how much he earns and how much he can spend in a day because of his "call center" work. he said that their call center is different since they can earn almost 20k a day. wow! and imagine his guts when he held my hand and kept massaging it. "Are you trying to seduce me? Don't try, because you can't." i said. There was no coffee and he didn't even bring me home as he promised. he dropped me off somewhere. jeez... what a jerk!
and now someone told me that it's unfair for me to generalize... have guys been fair? i don't think so. if i only have a gun, for sure, i would have shot every jerk i met.
Friday, July 7, 2006
sorry
according to webster.com:
Main Entry: sor·ry
Pronunciation: 'sär-E, 'sor-
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): sor·ri·er; -est
Etymology: Middle English sory, from Old English sArig, from sAr sore
1 : feeling sorrow , regret, or penitence
2 : MOURNFUL, SAD
3 : inspiring sorrow , pity, scorn, or ridicule : PITIFUL
synonym see CONTEMPTIBLE
A sorry is just too empty these days. One may mean it when he/she says it but some just don't do anything to prove that he/she is sorry. And that makes it so empty. Sorry is already a sad word. People just made it sadder.
Someone said sorry to me... Probably he meant it but it better that he didn't say it. I can't see nor feel the sincerity. The damage has been done. I've already been hurt. And he doesn't do anything about it. He just says, "Sorry...". Am I supposed to feel okay after that? Is it a magic word that all the hurt will fade? Doing something to make amends does not even erase the fact that you've hurt the person. How much more the mere 'sorry'? Really, talk is very cheap...
Main Entry: sor·ry
Pronunciation: 'sär-E, 'sor-
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): sor·ri·er; -est
Etymology: Middle English sory, from Old English sArig, from sAr sore
1 : feeling sorrow , regret, or penitence
2 : MOURNFUL, SAD
3 : inspiring sorrow , pity, scorn, or ridicule : PITIFUL
synonym see CONTEMPTIBLE
A sorry is just too empty these days. One may mean it when he/she says it but some just don't do anything to prove that he/she is sorry. And that makes it so empty. Sorry is already a sad word. People just made it sadder.
Someone said sorry to me... Probably he meant it but it better that he didn't say it. I can't see nor feel the sincerity. The damage has been done. I've already been hurt. And he doesn't do anything about it. He just says, "Sorry...". Am I supposed to feel okay after that? Is it a magic word that all the hurt will fade? Doing something to make amends does not even erase the fact that you've hurt the person. How much more the mere 'sorry'? Really, talk is very cheap...
Saturday, June 24, 2006
tequila residue
my head is pounding from tequila last night. and my mind doesn't seem to work now.
what happened last night? i went to a party--well, not 'went' because i organized the party. anyway, it was a party for a community i used to belong. it's actually a costume party but naughtier. the costume should be underwear. i invited my friends along, maybe hoping that we'd teach the guys a thing or two. every one started to drink tequila and then, do the body shots. it seems that i can't bear to see my friends being devoured. everything went wild and got out of control. i was already acting like a conservative aunt. ha!
jeez... see the effect of tequila? i can't even tell a decent story. (decent here means 'of an acceptable standard or quality'.) i have an excuse. i am hung over. hmm... or shall i say, i'm still drunk? and i haven't ingested any food yet this day.
no. it's just that i'm not that good in narrating what happened. i seem to be better at writing about what i feel.
now, what am i feeling? let's just say it's a mixture of anger, frustration and depression. go ahead and sprinkle some suicidal thoughts. and viola! i am me.
but honestly, i am just hurt...
what happened last night? i went to a party--well, not 'went' because i organized the party. anyway, it was a party for a community i used to belong. it's actually a costume party but naughtier. the costume should be underwear. i invited my friends along, maybe hoping that we'd teach the guys a thing or two. every one started to drink tequila and then, do the body shots. it seems that i can't bear to see my friends being devoured. everything went wild and got out of control. i was already acting like a conservative aunt. ha!
jeez... see the effect of tequila? i can't even tell a decent story. (decent here means 'of an acceptable standard or quality'.) i have an excuse. i am hung over. hmm... or shall i say, i'm still drunk? and i haven't ingested any food yet this day.
no. it's just that i'm not that good in narrating what happened. i seem to be better at writing about what i feel.
now, what am i feeling? let's just say it's a mixture of anger, frustration and depression. go ahead and sprinkle some suicidal thoughts. and viola! i am me.
but honestly, i am just hurt...
Friday, June 16, 2006
'tis ordeal
have you ever felt like crying and then you cannot cry because it's just not the proper place? have you ever wanted to shout and still you can't because doing such will incriminate you? have you ever wanted so much to hate everybody because instead of helping you, they push you down to the drain?
no matter how much i try clawing myself up from the ditch i fell into, i keep on slipping back. it's such bullshit when people try to pretend that they're your friends, that they care. but no. i hate it when they do that. i hate hypocrites. i hate posers. i hate jerks.
i'm fed up again. tired. low batt. i just wish all problems would come in and i'll simply be overwhelmed and just kill myself. that would probably make it simpler.
===================================================================
someone said that i am a puppeteer and many guys dance at the palm of my hand. i've never really wanted to be a puppeteer, although sometimes it's fun. the puppets are usually those guys who have major flaws in their attitude towards women. most puppets are those jerks whom i cannot resist to simply break and crush. however i don't want to have puppets. the more puppets i have, the more i realize that there are less and less good guys. somehow that thought makes me weaker.
no matter how much i try clawing myself up from the ditch i fell into, i keep on slipping back. it's such bullshit when people try to pretend that they're your friends, that they care. but no. i hate it when they do that. i hate hypocrites. i hate posers. i hate jerks.
i'm fed up again. tired. low batt. i just wish all problems would come in and i'll simply be overwhelmed and just kill myself. that would probably make it simpler.
===================================================================
someone said that i am a puppeteer and many guys dance at the palm of my hand. i've never really wanted to be a puppeteer, although sometimes it's fun. the puppets are usually those guys who have major flaws in their attitude towards women. most puppets are those jerks whom i cannot resist to simply break and crush. however i don't want to have puppets. the more puppets i have, the more i realize that there are less and less good guys. somehow that thought makes me weaker.
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