Passion For English

So I decided to put up a site. I'm not sure if it's going to work, but I sure do hope so. While I'm developing materials for it, I discovered that I was focused and determined. I even forget to eat or drink water when I'm in the zone. I even installed Articulate eLearning Tools to make my materials "nicer". Although the software looks user friendly, I'm still learning how to use the it. Maybe making training materials is my thing.

Oh well, if I win the lottery, I think I won't stop developing the website and training materials.

I'm getting sidetracked. Here's the link to the website:

Passion For English
http://love4english.webs.com

If you notice an error or have some suggestions, please let me know.

English Is a Funny Language

They say "Necessity breeds creativity.". I say, "Desperation forces ingenuity."

When people are trapped in a corner and they have to come up with something to survive, our adrenalin pumps over edge and we either do something stupid or really brilliant. Most of the time brilliant.

And yes, I am desperate. I am trapped in a corner. However, I can't say I will do something brilliant. This may be really really stupid. I have decided to teach English online, as an ESL tutor.

It's a horror! I just heard a creepy background music. I swear! Don't get me wrong. I love the English language. That's why I wanted to be a journalist in the first place and probably ended up as a writer for ESL materials before. However, I've never tried having a job outside of the corporate world. The thought of doing something new scares me.

So I brushed up on the rudiments of the English language and I stumbled across this funny poem:

Indeed, fish, crabs and shrimps are called seafood. But if they come from a stream, river or lake, will they still be called as such?

Hold On or Let Go?

My Philosophy professor said that there are only 2 premises in a relationship. The first premise is to hold on. I imagined that this would be metaphorically grabbing on to something while a very strong wind tries to blow you away. Just like the scene from Twister when Helen Hunt held on to a pipe while a tornado passes by. This means that there's no need to hold on to something if here's no threat to blow you away or take something away from you.

The second is to let go. This is when you don't feel that there's no hope and you just release your grip and say goodbye. Or maybe this is when you want to save the person you love just like how the father cut his rope in Cliff Hanger.

The problem is when to let go or when to keep on holding on. See, my professor never really explained this. When and how does a person really know? Do you let go when you think that all hope is lost? Do you keep on holding on even if it hurts, as long as you see even a tiny spark of hope?

Living a Life of Your Own Design

I am person of no luck at all. I have proven that several times in my life. When I was a kid, I had to work to be an honor student to get a pair of skates or a brick game. In college, I had to be frugal with my Php 500 a week allowance. That amount has to cover for 3 meals a day, projects, phone credits and fare. Then I had to work part-time to have an amount for enrollment.

I had to work harder than everyone else. Like now, I have been a trainer for more than 3 years and the people I've mentored are now training supervisors or are earning much more than I did.

Everything that I have and I had is a product of hard work, sweat and blood. I have no luck at all. And I refuse to believe in destiny, because if I do, it only means that I have resigned to being like this forever.

The clock stopper said that he has noticed my lack of luck. Everything I do is calculated, carefully thought of. When I fail at something, I don't rely on luck nor prayers to have it fixed. I do something to fix it. He also said that I am living a life of my own design. My own decisions. My own doing.

It is a euphemistic way of looking at it. I am happy that he sees it that way. However, I am wishing and praying that I could get lucky just once. Just once... I would like to breathe and say that I got what I want and deserve, and I didn't have to lose a finger or break my back getting it.

So Called "Friends"

I am tired of pretenders. Those who pretend to be friends and asking how I am when they don't really care or do anything even if you're dying. They just want to ask how you are to feel good with themselves and delude their minds into thinking that they are good friends.

It would be much better not to say anything at all. Ignore the suffering person. Just don't make a mistake in saying that you are a friend. Because if you do, you better call yourself "hypocrite".

Yes, I am angry and sad. I can never stop measuring others with my own standards. I can never stop getting disappointed and hurt.

I know what I did for friends and what I can still do for a friend. I can be there for a friend with complete and utter disregard for my own personal safety. Maybe when I get rich enough, I will clone myself.