1. The clock stopper murmured, "I love you". Then he asked, "Did you hear that?" My answer? "Huh?"
I wasn't able to react! I didn't even hear him clearly and wasn't sure if I heard him right. Did I lose the "moment"? Is there such thing as a "perfect moment" when two people express their feelings at a moment when there seems to be music in the background and butterflies flying around, just like in the movies?
Oh well, I could not even say a word to respond. I am the female counterpart for guys' "torpe".
2. I miss my blog. My Internet has been disconnected and I don't really have the chance now to have it reconnected. I miss whining and bitching out.
3. I am quitting my job today. Finally! Wish me luck, y'all! I will rest and restore my health. Then, I'll embark on a fresh journey, perhaps in a different company or with a small business I've been thinking about.
Showing posts with label Endings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Endings. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
The House Feels Empty
My best friend from Australia, dropped by Manila before flying back to Brisbane. She arrived last Friday and it had been awesome every single minute. We reminisced our experiences in college, how we were almost killed by a raging jeepney in front of our school, how we used to get drunk and the crazy stuff we did, and how we were so different yet so similar.
She told me that I have a way of choosing men/boys. She surmised that I chose those who can never be a husband. She said I was unconsciously avoiding full commitment. LOL Maybe she's right. I'm not really sure.
We didn't really do a lot of things nor go to a lot of places. Hanging out with her was already pleasure and relaxation. I wanted to take her to a lot of places. However, we were not able to because of financial challenges.
I don't really know when we will see each other again, but I'm hoping that she gets to come home before her church wedding. I am hoping too that I get to Australia for the ceremony. She said that she can only think of me when she's trying to think of who the maid of honor should be. i should start saving now. ;)
Anyway, she "predicted" that when the time comes that I have to go to Brisbane, I would have found somebody who is perfect for me. I laughed. I hope that guy can pay for his own ticket to Australia, because I will definitely stay with my best friend for a month.
So I brought her to the airport and she should be in the plane at this specific moment, waiting for it to take off.
I loved every moment of it, bai. I missed you so much and I am missing you now. The house feels so empty without your laugh and crazy psychological analyses.
Thank you for the gift of your presence. Enjoy your flight and behave in the plane. I love you, bai!
She told me that I have a way of choosing men/boys. She surmised that I chose those who can never be a husband. She said I was unconsciously avoiding full commitment. LOL Maybe she's right. I'm not really sure.
We didn't really do a lot of things nor go to a lot of places. Hanging out with her was already pleasure and relaxation. I wanted to take her to a lot of places. However, we were not able to because of financial challenges.
I don't really know when we will see each other again, but I'm hoping that she gets to come home before her church wedding. I am hoping too that I get to Australia for the ceremony. She said that she can only think of me when she's trying to think of who the maid of honor should be. i should start saving now. ;)
Anyway, she "predicted" that when the time comes that I have to go to Brisbane, I would have found somebody who is perfect for me. I laughed. I hope that guy can pay for his own ticket to Australia, because I will definitely stay with my best friend for a month.
So I brought her to the airport and she should be in the plane at this specific moment, waiting for it to take off.
I loved every moment of it, bai. I missed you so much and I am missing you now. The house feels so empty without your laugh and crazy psychological analyses.
Thank you for the gift of your presence. Enjoy your flight and behave in the plane. I love you, bai!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Benjie Ordonez
This is the first time in my life that I have experienced the feeling of knowing a death of a very good friend. I lost a lot of friends, yes. Who hasn't? My grade school friends have moved on with their lives, forgetting the relationship filled with play and childhood dreams. (Well, except once-in-a-blue-moon messages in Friendster.) My handful number of friends from high school have gotten married (news care of Friendster again). We stopped communicating for several different personal reasons which were fine - I could live with those. I know they're alive-and I'm happy knowing that. However, I have never experienced having a friend die on me.
When I opened my Yahoo Messenger yesterday, I was just expecting some spam; maybe a lot since I haven't signed on for more than 2 months. Then I looked at the window for offline messages, there were buzzes and messages from 2 acquaintances from Cebu. They said that they tried calling me but the telco system message said that I'm unreachable--and that Benjie is dead due to stroke. The thought of the message took a while to sink in. I didn't know how to react but my mind was already commanding my fingers to type "Thanks for letting me know.". I told a pal who was beside me about the news I received and that I couldn't believe it. Maybe it's just a big joke. But a thread from Istorya.net proved it was true. I know I was supposed to cry but I didn't, I couldn't and I still haven't.
He was still alive for me. I'm still expecting to see him when I go home. I'm still expecting to have an enjoyable conversation with him over a few cups of coffee. I still expect him to come and rescue me from bad dates. Then we would go to a restaurant I haven't tried, and have the best meal ever. With him, I was confident and secure. With him, I can do anything. I am the smartest and most sensible girl on the planet. I am invincible.
So he cannot be dead. I refuse to accept that he's gone and that there's no one who can make me feel the way he does. I'm inclined to think that he's just in Panglao or Davao for a photography job. He does that all the time anyway, and I'll just expect to see him all dark and sun-burnt. I can't go home knowing that my itinerary for my trips to the city does not include driving around Cebu City with him.
I would like to think that he's still alive. I know I'm at the denial stage. Perhaps I prefer lying to myself. I just don't want to feel that he is gone.
I already miss his whining about his wife. I miss being his shrink and telling him to make a special effort for her. I miss seeing him rushing to my table in Starbucks, all sweaty and panting. I miss how we weave stories about the people we see while having coffee. I miss telling him that he gained weight and he needs a haircut. I miss being in his car while talking about people we know. I miss being his most objective but worst critic of his photographs. I miss hearing his defense on his art and then him admitting I'm right. I miss brainstorming with him for photography or film concepts. I miss him-- Benjamin "Benjie" Ordonez, occasional smoker, pretend coffee afficionado, driving hobbyist, gourmet, photographer, film-maker, father, husband and a very good friend.
I can't wait to see him when I go home to Cebu.
When I opened my Yahoo Messenger yesterday, I was just expecting some spam; maybe a lot since I haven't signed on for more than 2 months. Then I looked at the window for offline messages, there were buzzes and messages from 2 acquaintances from Cebu. They said that they tried calling me but the telco system message said that I'm unreachable--and that Benjie is dead due to stroke. The thought of the message took a while to sink in. I didn't know how to react but my mind was already commanding my fingers to type "Thanks for letting me know.". I told a pal who was beside me about the news I received and that I couldn't believe it. Maybe it's just a big joke. But a thread from Istorya.net proved it was true. I know I was supposed to cry but I didn't, I couldn't and I still haven't.
He was still alive for me. I'm still expecting to see him when I go home. I'm still expecting to have an enjoyable conversation with him over a few cups of coffee. I still expect him to come and rescue me from bad dates. Then we would go to a restaurant I haven't tried, and have the best meal ever. With him, I was confident and secure. With him, I can do anything. I am the smartest and most sensible girl on the planet. I am invincible.
So he cannot be dead. I refuse to accept that he's gone and that there's no one who can make me feel the way he does. I'm inclined to think that he's just in Panglao or Davao for a photography job. He does that all the time anyway, and I'll just expect to see him all dark and sun-burnt. I can't go home knowing that my itinerary for my trips to the city does not include driving around Cebu City with him.
I would like to think that he's still alive. I know I'm at the denial stage. Perhaps I prefer lying to myself. I just don't want to feel that he is gone.
I already miss his whining about his wife. I miss being his shrink and telling him to make a special effort for her. I miss seeing him rushing to my table in Starbucks, all sweaty and panting. I miss how we weave stories about the people we see while having coffee. I miss telling him that he gained weight and he needs a haircut. I miss being in his car while talking about people we know. I miss being his most objective but worst critic of his photographs. I miss hearing his defense on his art and then him admitting I'm right. I miss brainstorming with him for photography or film concepts. I miss him-- Benjamin "Benjie" Ordonez, occasional smoker, pretend coffee afficionado, driving hobbyist, gourmet, photographer, film-maker, father, husband and a very good friend.
I can't wait to see him when I go home to Cebu.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Leaving on a Jet Plane
I'm getting ready to leave for Manila.
My preparations include:
1. Kissing Kishni as many times as I can
2. Drinking his scent
3. Embracing Kishni as long as I can
4. Staring at him, memorizing the lines of his face or lack thereof
5. Fitting his hand with my hand
6. Running my fingers through his hair
7. Letting him curl my hair with his fingers with occasional tugging
8. Taking lots and lots of photos of him
9. Memorizing his pout and his antics
10. Cooking for him, feeding him, bathing him, brushing his teeth, cleaning his ears...
Now it's time to leave. Where the hell are my clothes?
My preparations include:
1. Kissing Kishni as many times as I can
2. Drinking his scent
3. Embracing Kishni as long as I can
4. Staring at him, memorizing the lines of his face or lack thereof
5. Fitting his hand with my hand
6. Running my fingers through his hair
7. Letting him curl my hair with his fingers with occasional tugging
8. Taking lots and lots of photos of him
9. Memorizing his pout and his antics
10. Cooking for him, feeding him, bathing him, brushing his teeth, cleaning his ears...
Now it's time to leave. Where the hell are my clothes?
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Getting out of the Suit
Yes, I am resigning. I will be returning to my hometown and starting my life and career once again. And it won't be easy, I know. I simply have to do this.
It is difficult to be away from your family for a very long time. It's also difficult when you know that you can do so much more for the company but you simply have no right to.
This is for me to follow what I deserve to have and my family whom I have not seen for a very long time.
It is difficult to be away from your family for a very long time. It's also difficult when you know that you can do so much more for the company but you simply have no right to.
This is for me to follow what I deserve to have and my family whom I have not seen for a very long time.
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