Monday, April 9, 2007

of marriage and desperation

it's already easter sunday but i haven't been to the church since... i don't remember. i know i should but i haven't felt religious the past few months. i know, it isn't supposed to be just a 'feeling'. it's supposed to be your duty to thank the person up there. there shouldn't be an excuse. i don't have one. so, let's not talk about it.

peejee, one of the few friends i have, had already said her marriage vows in front of a judge recently. lizzie, another friend, went to the states last year and got married there. good for them. in a woman's life, we are already at the marrying age anyway.

however, when i think about marriage in my life, it's somewhat like an unreachable dream. it's not like an alien situation or a strange event for me since my mom is a wedding coordinator. i've been to a lot of weddings, i've tried a lot of bridal gowns, i've read a lot of vows, and i've eaten wedding cakes of different flavors. it's just that 'marriage' is something that's so near yet so far in my life. so near because it has always been a part of my life. so far because it's never me at the altar. perhaps, the husband-to-be is still missing. hahaha!

you might smell desperation. maybe i am? or maybe it's just a tinge of wonder that people normally have. but then again, maybe i'm just envious

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